Showing posts with label introspection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label introspection. Show all posts

04 February 2009

"Just keep making your stuff and they can’t ignore you forever"


Important words for any creative person to keep in your back pocket! That's a quote from this interview with Chicago artist, Heather Mekkelson on the Chicago Artist Resource website, or CAR. Even though I am not a Chicago resident, I think this website is a fantastic compilation of ideas, inspiration, opportunities and information. I have sent the folks at CAR email extolling the virtues of their good work, twice! And they even wrote me back, twice-- which made me happy and cemented their high status in my book of cool organizations. Which brings me to my newest task for this blog-- to compile a list of places on the web to go to when in need of a little extra oomph and a daily dose of inspiration.

I wish I was one of those people who is eternally optimistic and focused on accomplishing what needs to be done. In reality however, I sometimes forget the little steps I need to take to get me where I want to go. Some days, I feel sunny and exuberant and other days, I feel like a total failure- like nothing is working out, blah blah blah-- my brain just runs circles around itself and I have to try to pull myself out of that rut that I create.

Then, I blog about my blues and feel better.

17 January 2008

a series of little tiny epiphanies

I wish I could take credit for the cupcakes above but the image is from Martha Stewart-- click on the pic for the recipe and original site.

It's a cold snowy morning this morning. I am bundled up in my chunky knit scarf with a hottie mug o' coffee. Today is a very special day, D's birthday!!!!
Aside from birthday festivities and having to work this afternoon, my mind is hard at work!
I've been thinking about professional accomplishments I have made and would like to make in the coming year. I'm making a list and checking it twice. One of those is creating a class proposal to take to some of the local art establishments around town. Something having to do with collage-making and non-traditional books. Something clicked into place in the last couple of days-- a need to push myself in a certain direction and become very focused. I feel excited about it. Tomorrow- I signed up for a creativity symposium with some guest speakers. I have no idea what to expect but will let you know how it goes!

09 January 2008

pondering


This is the last painting in the Hopper exhibit at the National Gallery in DC. While D and I were there with Honey, D made a very observant comment that this painting - made towards the end of Hopper's painting career and his life, is pared down to the essential elements, the essence. A very apt observation. (I had a teacher at Otis College of Art and Design that gave us multiple step projects having to do with building on an idea or element and then reducing it down to it's fundamental essence). Sometimes, those lessons pop up in my mind like a buoy in an ocean. It seems like life does this-- and as we get older the things that become most important to us change and gain clarity. The other night I had dessert with a friend and I was worrying about getting a second job and having enough money yet still having time to make art and let my brain play. My friend said, take advantage of the freedom you have right now-- I don't have kids, I have a day job that is just that-- not very taxing with a lot of flexibility. She said, you are in an enviable position. And I've been thinking about that a lot because it took me a decade to get to a place in my heart, spirit and mind that would allow me to just enjoy life, not worry too much, and make peace with being an artist instead of running away from it-- (which I sometimes still do). Funny how life changes. I'm not living the vision I had for myself when I was younger-- but I realize that vision was slightly more mainstream than I want to be. I think I'm living something better-- closer to my values and beliefs.

I love that it's a new year right now and a fresh start, a clean canvas. Who knows what 2008 will bring?! It's pretty exciting! Even a new president! Here is my polar bear on an iceberg made of cardboard.

18 September 2007

my life has given me an opening


I haven't felt much like writing lately. Maybe I will get in the mood soon. I'm just going to ramble right now to get back in the habit of writing. I just spent the weekend at home, in Buffalo, with some people who are dear to me. It was a really nice, mellow time. Now I'm back in Pittsburgh, with another someone who is dear to me. I brought back the things that I was missing but left the rest for another time. Choosing what to bring along and what to leave behind really begs the question, how much stuff does one need?
When I am in my old home, the ceilings are high, the sunlight is strong, the garden is flourishing, the fridge is full, the washer and dryer are brand new, things are always being updated and renewed in the house. When I am in my new home, I have all sorts of plans and ideas and desires to decorate, and paint, and fix up, and bring up to date. I have a vision of the garden. But all these things have to wait for the time being, till there's more time, and more money and more know how. and this waiting can get frustrating because our culture is all about now now now.
My mind plays out a constant battle about making more money and having a career versus taking a leap- and not working a full time job in order to give myself time in the studio. It's not an easy tradeoff. But how will I know unless I really try, I mean really try?

05 September 2007

i had a dream last night


that I was in a public square and everyone was walking across each other's paths with presents piled high. I was watching the scene from slightly off the ground. It was eerie. I didn't sleep well last night.
On another note, one thing I have learned from my job is that being on the receiving end of niceness from a customer really makes a difference. When I am talking to someone at work and they are kind and express gratitude for my help- It makes me want to go the extra mile to help that person. On the flip side, when someone is rude, accusatory, or being just generally ridiculous and/or unreasonable it doesn't inspire anyone to lend a helping hand.


Just a little venting.

After my 20 mile bike ride Monday, I have done no other exercise this week. I have not gone to my studio since Saturday but I have been doing some drawings at home.

I've been doing a lot of blog hopskotching too. Looking at all the art/design/photo/craft blogs I can find. I'm really inspired whenever I go to some of these blogs to see how lovingly people decorate and document their homes, their art, craft, or families. The love and care people put into taking photographs and making their blog into an ever changing work of art is quite amazing. All this looking encourages me to place more thought and care into my own blog. My goals have changed from blog as visual diary to blog as tool to discover personal aesthetic. Which I think I'm trying to do in my work too. I hope it's working!

04 June 2007

Happy June!

People, I need help! How do I widen the margins of this part of my blog?? I have looked in the help section but couldn't figure it out. If anyone knows can you email me?? It's driving me crazy !!




I ushered in the month of June in the pastoral town of Foxburg, PA. Set on the Allegheny, this sleepy village consists of the Foxburg Inn, (est. 2006- where we stayed), the Allegheny Grille right next door, the Free Library- built in 1909, complete with charming small theatre, the Foxburg Winery and two antique shops. D had a gig with the lovely Daphne Alderson, who tells wonderful stories about Marlene Dietrich and Edith Piaf interspersed with singing their songs in her contraalto voice.


So, we arrived Friday afternoon- the air smelled sweet and clean, green trees lined our way. The inn sits right on the river, which was placid the whole weekend and reflected the woods as clearly as a mirror. Friday and Saturday night the band performed, and the rest of the time consisted of eating, taking in the scenery, and a nice 3 mile walk around a trail where we saw a frog and horseshoe prints in the mud. It was pleasant except for all the gnats that were flying around our faces.


Today, I am back at work at City Theatre. It's a quiet day and I thought I would catch up on the blog.


I finally secured a studio space! I haven't had an opportunity to move any supplies in yet but I am chomping at the bit to start work! CHOmping at the bit!


I am reading The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan - he sometimes writes about food for the NY Times and this book is terrible and fascinating...Terrible to learn about the Agricultural practices employed in the US, and what little choice we have when it comes to sustainable/organic food bought in the mainstream grocery and fascinating to see how mother nature battles big industry and loses and how we as a nation lose out because of it.

The part that has captured me most entirely is when Pollan discusses the writing of Sir Albert Howard (1873-1947).

Pollan says:
"The philosophy underlying Howard's conception of organic agriculture is a variety of pragmatism, of course, the school of thought that is willing to call "true" whatever works. Darwin taught us that a kind of pragmatism--he called it natural selection-- is at the very heart of nature, guiding evolution: What works is what survives.....In Howard's agronomy, science is mostly a tool for describing what works and explaining why it does. As it happens, in the years since Howard wrote, science has provided support for a great many of his unscientific claims: Plants grown in synthetically fertilized soils are less nourishing than ones grown in composted soils; such plants are more vulnerable to pests and disease.......the health of the soil, plant, animal, human, and even nation are, as Howard claimed, connected along lines we can now begin to draw with empirical confidence. "

I thought this was really interesting-- a holistic worldview which I can relate to --the health of the soil directly relates to the health of the population--look at all of our landfills, pollut lands and waters and the disposable culture in which we live..... this was leading me to another observation and it just fell out of my head....oh well.
Pollan calculates that if the 16 million acres currently used to grow corn for cows (which they are not biologically meant to eat) were instead transformed into well-managed grass pastures 14 billion pounds of carbon would be removed from the atmosphere each year. That is the equivalent removing 4 million cars from the road.
wow-- that is an astounding number.




28 May 2007

Mondays Blues on a Beautiful Spring Day

I have been SO lazy today I can't believe it! Went to the gym, then came home and had a lay down. Ate breakfast and had a laydown. Took a shower and had a laydown. Planted one hanging basket and had a laydown. BLAH. It is so gorgeousa outside and, I am feeling slightly blase about life, art and what to do today. For the last couple of weeks, I have been working to make our backyard more garden friendly, doing a little spring cleaning although, from the room I'm sitting in, you could not tell. Dreaming about going on an exotic vacation to mark the occasion of entering my 30th year on the planet next month.

Things I have been thinking about recently:
Buying a compost bin
the articles I read in last sunday's new york times magazine special on "eco-architecture" which I found fascinating and now misplaced the magazine.
cleaning the bathtub
buying a new shower curtain
cleaning the kitchen floor
making some art
becoming a member of the Carnegie Museum
becoming a member of Pittsburgh Filmmakers
the polar ice caps melting
cooking like Martha Stewart
Bjork's new album
Icelandic art
friends I haven't talked to in a while
positive people
yoga
Lost
?

10 January 2007

strengths and weaknesses


I know I didn't finish that last post. I got bored with my own list of what I did on my New Year's get away. who cares after a while?
Today I am thinking about why I feel the necessity to make things ok with people close to me in times of disagreement. It is so hard for me to just let things rest and take a break when there's a discomfort in the air. I feel like I am resonsible for being the peacekeeper and especially absolving someone in a disagreement. I guess this could be seen as a strength in some situations and a weakness in others. Old habits die hard no matter how much you try and change. I am forcing myself to just sit with it and remember that~ it is lighter than you think.~ Something, I think I read on a list written by John Cage, that makes me feel better when I get bogged down by life's uncertainties and unfairness. If there's one thing I can't stand-- and one thing that keeps knocking me sqare in the face-- it's the idea of accepting reality, plain and simple, and moving forward even when it hurts like hell, even when it's so unfair. Another of my favorites, when your heart and mind don't match in their messages to you. Today, I am thinking about those qualities and characteristics that are my own strengths and weaknesses. How they serve and hinder me and how to deal with the clarity of seeing them in others. If it is true that the world is shaped by your inner outlook and attitude (which I believe in) and we all manifest our own destinies. How do turn self-sabotage around, or inside out, or make it work for you instead of against you? It is so hard for people to accept the reality/truth that is in their heart of hearts. It's taken me a LONG time to learn how to first, cut through my own bullshit and then, to see what my inner most feeling is, and finally to accept it for what it is....
Man, that is a hard lesson to learn.